Friday, March 09, 2007

One More Reason to love the British

Well, you never know what you're going to learn when you listen to the CBC. The other day, on The Current, the gentleman who edits the personals for the London Review of Books was being interviewed about these very bizarre personals, I think because he's got a book of them coming out. Anyway, they are hilarious, and weird, and very British in their dry wit.

And, it turns out, they are available online for your edification and delight!

Take, for example, this gem:

MOON ON A STICK? Writer/artist/filmmaker, 24, F, seeks sugarparent & freedom from cerebrum-rotting wage-slavery. No sex please, I'm almost British.

or this:

Man (50), Worcester, would like to walk on the Malvern Hills not reading Piers Plowman or quoting Housman. Teaching engineering is fine, but my real vocation is transporting harps by Skoda. Woman wanted to support the Early Music Local of the Teamsters Union.

or this:

We’ve all made mistakes. Mine was a cerise pump during London Fashion Week 2004. Fashion troubadour, (M, 35). WLTM similar, or appropriately dour fag hag.

or this:

My last affair ended with a round of applause from a crew of stand-by paramedics. If the next one has to end I’ll settle for a text message. Woman, 39. Seeks man who knows when to wear his Medic Alert Badge, carries his own emergency injectable adrenaline kit, and isn’t too scared to say ‘actually, I don’t feel like lobster tonight’.

Some of the ones that were read on the radio were even funnier. This is going to be required reading for me from now on.

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