Sunday, January 28, 2007

Introducing....

The First Annual Mad Jenny's
Mad Oscar Poll


So, the Oscars are often called the Superbowl for movie and fashion fans, and that is definitely the case for me. Not because I particularly care about who wins, but because I love the ridiculous spectacle of the whole thing. And yes, I am a movie fan. And yes, I like looking at pretty dresses. And yes, terrible interviews by people with cornflakes for brains amuse the heck out of me.

Here's what we'll do. In a comment on this post, cast your votes for each of the categories listed below. We have the official Oscars categories, and some other, just for fun categories. After the Oscars - which air on Sunday, February 25th - the reader who has the most correct guesses wins their very own Oscar trophy (sort of) and the awe and admiration (and, perhaps, ridicule) of the rest of us. This Blog allows anonymous comments - so nonBloggers can also participate. Just be sure to sign your entry so I know who you are.

The made-up categories do not have nominees - these are write-in categories. Guesses can be based on past performances (e.g. Robin Williams can always be counted on to wear an atrocious suit in public) or on current events and entertainment news. Winners will be based on incontrovertible truth (if someone's dress falls off, or there are clear stand outs in any other category), OR entertainment show commentary, Internet news, popular opinion, and my personal observations of the show.
For the official categories, just choose one of the nominees. Winners will be based on actual Oscar winners.

THE MAD JENNY CATEGORIES

  1. Performance by an interviewer from an embarrassing television program

  2. Most Beautiful Gown

  3. Most Horrifyingly Ugly Gown

  4. Suavest Suit/Tux

  5. Most excruciatingly ill conceived withdrawal from the traditional tuxedo motif

  6. Best Wardrobe Malfunction

  7. Star most talked about for having recently split from a spouse/significant other - with much discussion of said star's bravery or folly in showing up solo at the ceremony

  8. Most Memorable Acceptance Speech

  9. Most strained and awkward face during an embarrassing close-up on a non-winner during the winner's walk to the stage and speech

NOMINATIONS BY CATEGORY - 79TH AWARDS

Performance by an actor in a leading role

Leonardo DiCaprio - BLOOD DIAMOND
Ryan Gosling - HALF NELSON
Peter O'Toole - VENUS
Will Smith - THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS
Forest Whitaker - THE LAST KING OF SCOTLAND

Performance by an actor in a supporting role

Alan Arkin - LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE
Jackie Earle Haley - LITTLE CHILDREN
Djimon Hounsou - BLOOD DIAMOND
Eddie Murphy - DREAMGIRLS
Mark Wahlberg - THE DEPARTED

Performance by an actress in a leading role

Penélope Cruz - VOLVER
Judi Dench - NOTES ON A SCANDAL
Helen Mirren - THE QUEEN
Meryl Streep - THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA
Kate Winslet - LITTLE CHILDREN

Performance by an actress in a supporting role

Adriana Barraza - BABEL
Cate Blanchett - NOTES ON A SCANDAL
Abigail Breslin - LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE
Jennifer Hudson - DREAMGIRLS
Rinko Kikuchi - BABEL

Best animated feature film of the year

CARS
HAPPY FEET
MONSTER HOUSE

Achievement in directing

BABEL
THE DEPARTED
LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA
THE QUEEN
UNITED 93

Best documentary feature

DELIVER US FROM EVIL
AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH
IRAQ IN FRAGMENTS
JESUS CAMP
MY COUNTRY, MY COUNTRY

Best foreign language film of the year

AFTER THE WEDDING
DAYS OF GLORY (INDIGÈNES)
THE LIVES OF OTHERS
PAN'S LABYRINTH
WATER

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score)

BABEL
THE GOOD GERMAN
NOTES ON A SCANDAL
PAN'S LABYRINTH
THE QUEEN

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)

"I Need to Wake Up" - AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH
"Listen" - DREAMGIRLS
"Love You I Do" - DREAMGIRLS
"Our Town" - CARS
"Patience" - DREAMGIRLS

Best motion picture of the year

BABEL
THE DEPARTED
LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA
LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE
THE QUEEN

Adapted screenplay

BORAT CULTURAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICA FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION OF KAZAKHSTAN
CHILDREN OF MEN
THE DEPARTED
LITTLE CHILDREN
NOTES ON A SCANDAL

Original screenplay

BABEL
LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA
LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE
PAN'S LABYRINTH
THE QUEEN

13 comments:

False Prophet said...

I doubt I can participate, seeing as this would require me to:

a) Care about the Oscars
b) Watch the Oscars
c) Do a) and b) on the night of my 30th birthday

I just can't get worked up about a bunch of millionaires giving each other trophies, for some reason. :)

MadJenny said...

Party Pooper!

You don't actually have to watch to vote - this is a pre-event event. Don't dis the fun. Part of the glory of the Oscars is the sheer lunacy of the participants' belief that it truly truly matters.

But, I forgot that was the actual date of you becoming (officially) an old man. You can be forgiven for not participating.

Deranged Squirrel said...

Of course I haven't seen any of the movies but I think that sounds like fun. If there is an event component I vote that we wear ridiculous outfits to the screening - just a thought.

ru said...

i totally second the "wear a ridiculous outfit" idea, and i will be replying with my guesses at some point when i have had time to think about it (though these things tend to: does it have judi dench in it? then it has my vote! oh, it doesn't? then helen mirren is a close old-lady-hotness second). and also when i do not have a snoring baby strapped to my chest!

MadJenny said...

Details of the Event Component to follow. Ridiculous outfits - and lots of costume jewelry and accessories are a must. Get your acceptance speeches ready.

For those who haven't seen the movies - you could also use Golden Globes and SAG Awards as something of a Bell Weather to assist in your voting.

False Prophet said...

OK, I'll note who I think should win, though I still care not for the byzantine labyrinth of Hollywood politics:

Performance by an actor in a leading role
Leonardo DiCaprio - BLOOD DIAMOND

The only movie I've seen on this list, but DiCaprio was amazing. Best thing in this otherwise preachy bleeding heart guilt-fest (Edward Zwick, you've done it again!).

Performance by an actor in a supporting role
Mark Wahlberg - THE DEPARTED

Some of the other guys were really good, but Wahlberg totally stole every scene he was in (no small task, considering he shared the screen with the likes of DiCaprio, Damon, Nicholson and Sheen pére). He totally surprised me with how great he was.

Performance by an actress in a leading role
Helen Mirren - THE QUEEN

I haven't seen any of these, but I've heard really good things about most of them. Much as I think Judi Dench has the "old lady hotness" too (Casino Royale, grrowl), I'm going to give it to Helen Mirren for a sympathetic portrayal of a real-life personality who I think is a societal parasite.

Performance by an actress in a supporting role
Jennifer Hudson - DREAMGIRLS

Soley for upstaging Beyoncé.

Best animated feature film of the year

Didn't see any of them, and wasn't strongly compelled to do so. I heard good things about "Over the Hedge", why didn't it get a nod?

Achievement in directing
THE DEPARTED

Scorcese took the already excellent Hong Kong film, "Infernal Affairs", and made it better. And he's due.


Best documentary feature
JESUS CAMP

The only one I actually saw was "An Inconvenient Truth" and I did like it. But I want this one to get the attention for two reasons:
1) To wake people up about the true threat fundamentalists represent
2) To further twist the knife over Ted Haggard's scandal (oh, did I have schadenfreude with that one)

Best foreign language film of the year
WATER

Solely for having Lisa Rey, and because of Deepa Mehta. I haven't seen any of them.

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score)

I'd love to vote on this one (I like soundtracks), but can't in good conscience, never having heard any of these.

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)
"I Need to Wake Up" - AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH

Randy Newman gets nominated every frickin' year! Let's give it to Melissa.

Best motion picture of the year
THE DEPARTED

Not just because it's the only one I've seen on this list, but because it managed to rise above its already excellent source material.

Adapted screenplay
CHILDREN OF MEN
THE DEPARTED (tie)


I can't in good conscience decide between these two. They were both fantastic and managed to outdo their quality sources.

Original screenplay
LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA

Haven't seen any of them, but Hollywood is usually allergic to portraying history from a non-American/white European point-of-view, especially military enemies, so Clint gets bonus points from me.

MadJenny said...

See now that wasn't so hard!

However, I do think that failing to participate in the other category might make your odds against winning too great, so you should consider placing votes for the other category too if you want a real chance at winning. You never know though, I suppose 100% in this category could put you ahead.

False Prophet said...

OK, but the red carpet is the most-loathed part of the Oscars for me:

1. Performance by an interviewer from an embarrassing television program

Who can possibly compete with Joan Rivers and her spawn?

2. Most Beautiful Gown

I'm going with Keira Knightley this year. Her lack of endowment means she is often very tastefully dressed. Which is not a slag on endowed women, just the idiots who design clothing for them.

3. Most Horrifyingly Ugly Gown

AKA the Cher Memorial Award? Let's say Madonna.

4. Suavest Suit/Tux

Clive Owen.

5. Most excruciatingly ill conceived withdrawal from the traditional tuxedo motif

Will Ashton Kutcher be there this year? If not, let's say one of the Wilson brothers.

6. Best Wardrobe Malfunction

Britney Spears.

7. Star most talked about for having recently split from a spouse/significant other - with much discussion of said star's bravery or folly in showing up solo at the ceremony

Gotta be Jennifer Aniston, for her twofer (Brad, and this year Vince Vaughan). Honourable mention to Kevin Federline, who's probably the only male who could rate in this category.

8. Most Memorable Acceptance Speech

No one overtly political seems to have been nominated (by design, perchance?), so I'll say Helen Mirren, because British stage actors tend to be eloquent. Honourable mention to Al Gore.

9. Most strained and awkward face during an embarrassing close-up on a non-winner during the winner's walk to the stage and speech

Will Smith. His face always looks awkward.

ru said...

okay, i am going to do this in two parts, just in case the young man awakens. so, first:

THE MAD JENNY CATEGORIES
1. Performance by an interviewer from an embarrassing television program - the riverses yes, but then there is ben, good old ben mulroney. it might take awhile to see it, but i am going with ben.

2. Most Beautiful Gown - dame judi. because i love her.

3. Most Horrifyingly Ugly Gown - jessica alba. i don't know if she has any reason to be there, but if she is there, the gown will suck.

4. Suavest Suit/Tux - diane keaton. all the men look the same. except for the ones who look bad.

5. Most excruciatingly ill conceived withdrawal from the traditional tuxedo motif - justin timberlake

6. Best Wardrobe Malfunction - helen mirren. because i can only hope to see her naked. rwaar!

7. Star most talked about for having recently split from a spouse/significant other - with much discussion of said star's bravery or folly in showing up solo at the ceremony - cameron diaz (because jt will be there with his crew)

8. Most Memorable Acceptance Speech
- i'll go with dame judi for the same reason false prophet chose helen mirren

9. Most strained and awkward face during an embarrassing close-up on a non-winner during the winner's walk to the stage and speech - eddie murphy. because for a moment there, he thought he might just win.

ru said...

okay, still sleeping, so here is the second half.

Performance by an actor in a leading role
Forest Whitaker - THE LAST KING OF SCOTLAND

Performance by an actor in a supporting role
Alan Arkin - LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE

Performance by an actress in a leading role
Judi Dench - NOTES ON A SCANDAL

Performance by an actress in a supporting role
Abigail Breslin - LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE

Best animated feature film of the year
HAPPY FEET

Achievement in directing
LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA

Best documentary feature
AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH

Best foreign language film of the year
PAN'S LABYRINTH

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score)
NOTES ON A SCANDAL

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)
"I Need to Wake Up" - AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH

Best motion picture of the year
THE DEPARTED

Adapted screenplay
BORAT CULTURAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICA FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION OF KAZAKHSTAN

Original screenplay
PAN'S LABYRINTH

MadJenny said...

Yay! Another contestant!

Personal affinities are definitely coming into play. Have you actually seen Little Miss Sunshine? Because if you haven't, you should. I think you'd like it.

Anonymous said...

Great idea for a poll!
Here are my votes:

CATEGORIES
Performance by an interviewer from an embarrassing television program

I believe the show is on CTV which means, alas, a smug Ben Mulroney appearance is likely inevitable.

Most Beautiful Gown
Helen Mirren

Most Horrifyingly Ugly Gown
This one's by no means a lock, but of the contenders I'll support Diane Keaton

Suavest Suit/Tux
Hugh Jackman I'd imagine would dress sharply for such an event

Most excruciatingly ill conceived withdrawal from the traditional tuxedo motif
I'll give the nod to Alec Baldwin

Best Wardrobe Malfunction
Angelina Jolie

Star most talked about for having recently split from a spouse/significant other - with much discussion of said star's bravery or folly in showing up solo at the ceremony
Based on the grocery store tabloid covers, Jennifer Aniston should win uncontested


Most Memorable Acceptance Speech
Eddie Murphy

Most strained and awkward face during an embarrassing close-up on a non-winner during the winner's walk to the stage and speech
Zoom in on Martin Scorcese's eyebrows should Little Miss Sunshine take best picture

As for the "real" categories, I haven't seen any of the films but I gather Forest Whittaker, Helen Mirren, Jennifer Hudson, and Eddie Murphy are the favourites. I think they'll give Scorcese the director and Babel best pic.

Enjoy!
Geoff

MadJenny said...

AWESOME! A late in the game entry from team K-Town! That's what we like to see! I'm sure little Ginger Spice (you know who I mean) was a big help in coming up with those answers.

Tasty!